12 weeks and PERFECT

^^ Pure Perfection ^^

Anxious

My doctor's appt. is at 4:45 today. I am so excited and anxious to hear my baby's heart beat again. I am absolutely terrified of it not being there. I don't remember being this scared with Hudson, but I probably was at some point. I woke up and did my usual routine today but Royce kept asking me "Are you ok?" and telling me I seemed ornery. It didn't dawn on me why I seemed off, though, until I got to mom's house and she asked the same thing "Are you ok?" No, I am NOT ok. Nor am I ornery. I am scared. I am terrified. I am anxious. I'm just a mommy wanting to hear from her baby. I pray that all is well and that li'l Maserati's heart is strong and loud.

I feel more alone in this pregnancy, even though I know I am not. But I don't have as many people celebrating with me, so I feel alone. People are excited, sure, but to them, it's no big deal because I've been there, done that. To me, this is the last time (almost certainly) that I get to experience pregnancy and creating life. Last time was the first time, which was amazing, but this time is the last time, which is amazing too. It's a whole new life, a whole new and different experience. I want to celebrate it, I want to savor it. And I will. Mostly alone.

I called the cops

Saturday morning was the first car show of the season out at Elmer's. Royce and I drove seperately so he could drive the Corvair.When I arrived, I parked away from all the show cars, a good walk away from where Royce's car was. As I was getting Hudson's stuff out and Royce was helping get Hudson, I noticed that the car next to me (a red Buick Alero) had a couple of chihuahuas in it. And a car seat. With a sweet sleeping baby in it! I looked around anxiously, not seeing anyone around or anyone looking as if they were watching the car. I told Royce about it. We decided to walk our stuff to his car and keep an eye on it and if nothing happened, I would call the cops. We also asked a friend who was sitting nearest the car if he had seen anyone and he had not. We explained why and he said he would keep an eye out too. As soon as we got to the Corvair, I turned around and headed back to my car, leaving Hudson with Royce. When I got back, I made it obvious why I was there, peering into the car, pacing around it, etc. The dogs jumped around barking at me, pouncing on the sleeping baby. Finally, after what seemed like 10 minutes but was probably closer to 4 or 5... (still too long for baby to be alone!!!!!!) I called 911. I explained to dispatch where I was, what I was seeing and what I was doing. I also described the car, including the license plate (### MNA). Dispatch said they would send an officer. Shortly after hanging up, I notice a fella walking towards me. He says "Is there a reason you are by my car??" I reply "Yeah, there is an unattended baby in this car." He goes on to tell me that he was "right over there" watching the whole time, that he'd seen me arrive, seen my son bundled up and figured he was probably warm enough, but didn't want his baby out 'cuz it was too cold, etc. etc. Ok... I can understand this. And had he been close enough that I could see he was watching, or had he responded in any way in the 4 or 5 minutes I'd been there, I would know he was attentive. But he hadn't. Nor had he checked in to see if baby was still sleeping or was ok or if dogs were pouncing all over him. Instead, he said he'd just been watching me (supposedly). Four or five minutes (plus the walk away and back) is way too long for him to be that far from an unattended baby. I explained to him that I had called the police. He jumped in his car mumbling about how he couldn't enjoy the show, was gonna get a ticket, "thanks a lot", etc, and drove away. Not a minute later, the officer showed up. I explained what had happened. Officer was glad I called, and I have ZERO regrets. I stand 100% by my decision... except I wonder if I waited too long.

"Never take a wooden nickel" and other odd tips

Royce works as a service man, so he sometimes receives tips. It's nice when he gets enough money to go to lunch that day, or even a little extra for spending. But he also gets some really weird tips. Like an antelope head he brought home one day. Or some old gas station signs or license plates. I don't know that they are "tips" exactly, but they are given to him because he takes the time to talk to his customers and always seems to find a way to connect to them, whether it is because they are fellow hunters or car enthusiasts or parents or somehow involved in any of these things. He also comes home with stories about teachers, sometimes even giving me a phone number of someone to call about my own job search. I am proud of him when he tells me these stories. I know that not only is he providing his best service to them, but he is building rapport and creating relationships. That's just what he does. That's exactly what attracted me to him. His confidence, his friendliness and his ability to befriend just about anyone (it had nothing to do with the fact that he looked good in a suit and sunglasses). He just told me a fun story about another "tip" he is going to maybe go get today, from a lady he helped a year ago. This sweet lady remembered him talking about how we had restored our bicycles and now apparently has one that she would like to gift him. We don't know anything about it, what style or year or condition, and we really don't need another bike, but it makes me proud that my guy made such an impression on someone that a year later she contacts him for something so personal. Yup, I love that man of mine.