This week marks the year. Nothings happening.

I just wanna be a mom. And make Royce a daddy.

Busy Weekend!

This weekend was our Car Club Yard Sale. We volunteered our home, so it required some basic cleaning on my end, as well as some major yard work. But I think it went pretty well. I know Royce didn't sell as much as he had hoped, but it's better than nothing. As a club, I honestly don't know how we did. But every little bit helps! Our charity this year was actually a fellow club member, Steve Wengreen. His cabinet business (and all his tools!) burnt down in June and everything we raised will be donated to the rebuild. We are also hosting a cruise night for him in early October.

Tharen working her pricing magic!

What we do after every event... EAT!

On Friday morning, as Royce and I were leaving for work, there were ducks in our front yard. Right by the road. Royce and I really don't want to scrape dead duck off the road, so we corralled them into our backyard. Honestly, I kind of hoped they'd fly away or find a way out. But, they were still there that night, when everyone arrived to set up for the sale. And they are still there today, even after the dogs got out on Saturday (during the sale) and Sadie actually got a hold of both ducks. So now we just have to find a way to keep the dogs and ducks separated. That's Royce's job. Otherwise, I'll take the ducks away. For now, it's a bit of a chore, checking for ducks in the vicinity each time we let the dogs out and taking dogs one at a time so they're easier to control and hold, in case they get a whiff of duck. And for now, I'm okay with it. But as soon as Royce is done with hunting season, it's his little project!

Weezie feeding Desmond and Molly

After the yard sale on Saturday, we were exhausted. Spent most of the day inside, napping and relaxing. But we did have to deal with the fence and the dog run so my dang dogs can't get loose again!

The hole my damn dogs got out of!

They dug, pushed and manuevered just so and were able to squeeze out. We fixed it while everyone was there for the sale, but didn't put the dogs back out there until after everyone left. Not 10 minutes, and they were out again! We rounded them up, then spent some time filling holes and moving rocks to hopefully stop it from happening again.

Sunday, we woke up early and went boating with my family at Strawberry Reservoir, about a two-hour drive. It was me, Royce, Mom, Dad, AJ and AJ's friend Flood and Flood's girlfriend Lacey. And mom's dogs, of course. The morning was chilly! We drove the boat through a fog that covered the whole section of the lake, where we could barely see around us. The boys did some fishing and I did a lot of reading. It warmed up and turned out to be a fabulous day!

Here we go Raptors!

Well, we lost the championship.
I went to the game last night with my mom, dad and AJ. But we got our butts kicked!
14-3. Oh well. It was a great season! Hopefully I'll get to attend more games next season!

I am ME. And I LIKE ME. Even if YOU don't.

This is so much easier said than done! I am who I am. I am true to myself. And I am a good person. I am likable. I am kind. I am considerate of others. And, when I have a problem, I am blunt. I am to the point and honest about my feelings. Which I suppose can come off as rude, except that I don't do it rudely. I address the issue and give people an opportunity to change or acknowledge my feelings about the situation. I think this is much more effective than whispering about it to someone else. And, most people who know me, both intimately and from afar, actually appreciate this about me.

But I know of a few people who don't find this trait so endearing. In fact, some people just plain hate it. And maybe even just plain hate me. That sucks. I don't like not being liked. I'm not used to it. People like me. I am likable. I realize that it's not realistic to think that everyone is always going to like me. But I do function better thinking that most people do. And, I have learned that I like my bluntness. I like confronting an issue head on. It actually gets resolved. Not always to the end that I would hope for, but often enough. I put my feelings out there and if they are not valued, than perhaps it's all for the better. All I know for certain is that sometimes it works. And sometimes is better than never.

The hardest part about being blunt though, is that you have to also be willing to hear people's bluntness towards you. You have to be open to feedback. If you invite it, you have to respond to it. So I will. I will take the feedback I am given and if it's from someone who matters, than I will
work to change the negative, if it's from someone who minds but doesn't matter, than I have the choice to disregard it.

So, I am me. And I will continue to be me. Bluntness and all.

Fun night in class! :)

Drove "my hubby's car" to work today. I drove her yesterday for a cruise night after work, and had no problems and really had fun, so I decided to do it today "just 'cuz." And everything is going great! She's running swell! I'm good at backing her up and parking, good at working the brakes "just so," good at starting her. So, I'm going to stop calling her "Royce's car." She's mine too! That's what happens when you get married, you share things. But she's never felt like mine. Til now. She's been running so well for me, not spitting and sputtering, or stalling, and I don't hesitate when I go through an intersection. I can even pull her in and out of the garage! So, from now on, when someone asks "Is that your car?" I can say "Yes, yes it is!" instead of the difficult back story of "Well, she's my husband's... she kind of hates me... Once upon a time...." Now, it's just "Yup!" because I have forgiven and (mostly) forgotten about all the bad things she once did to me. We are friends.

Most everything I've done in my life thus far has been temporary. A necessary step to the next step. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm ready to be done with those "steps" and move along to my FOREVER.

Not one of them

This is how I'm feeling lately.
Left out.
Alone.
Not a part of the group.

It sucks.
But, that's ok.
I'll live.
In fact, I'll live better.
I'll be happier.
I'll have exactly what I want.
One day.
Until then,
I'm just a lonely little yellow chick.

But, one day
One day, I will be a lone, beautiful swan.
In a sea of look-alike geese and a few lowly gulls.

It's worth the wait.

It all started last weekend, especially Monday, Labor Day, but it continued through the week (when I was home... which wasn't very often!) and finally was completed yesterday- LAUNDRY! Every clothing in my home is now clean. I was, in fact, very hesitant to wear clothing today. I would have been content to just take the day off and lay around naked. Now I have piles and piles of clean, folded clothes just waiting to be put away. It feels good to have everything done, but now I dread going through my clothes and getting rid of things I don't wear and organizing my drawers.

On Thursday, me, mom & AJ went to the Ogden Raptor's last home game. It was cold. By the 5th inning, we were losing by 6 and contimplating leaving early. But, in the bottom of the 5th, we got 4 runs and had a chance. So, AJ ran out to the car to get the blanket and we all cuddled up together for the rest of the game. Which we lost, in overtime.

On Friday, I went to Rovali's and met with some good friends for their grand opening. Great food!!

Saturday, I worked 8-12. Then I went to mom and dad's for awhile, until AJ and I went to Peach Day's with his dogs. Pretty princess Penny has a sister, an 8 month old bull dog, Georgia. They were pretty good, not great on leashes, but good enough anyways. After Peach Days, we went to the Raptors playoff game with mom and dad. We lost. But we didn't stay to watch the loss. We left early, again it was just too cold and we were losing.

And Sunday was laundry day. I stayed home, in my pajamas and washed and folded clothes all day, watching Disney channel and Lifetime movies!

Another great weekend! :)

There was a ball game on Friday. Probably Royce's last ball game of the season. Luckily, most of our favorite people were there so he could say goodbye. Once again, I spent most of the game just playing with little Miss McKinley and Peyton!

On Saturday, we went to the Willard Roundup carshow put on by our friend, Gary, and his family. It was a great show, lots of fun! And I won "Best Lady Driver" for driving the Corvair. Royce pulled the trailer.

After the show, Royce left to go hunting with his dad. I went to the ball game alone, meeting up with my folks. It was another great game! Even though I spent a lot of the time playing with the girlies, I did notice that we had several homeruns and ended up winning by 11 points! In fact, after the win, they announced that it was the 43rd win of the season, the best of any Raptor team!

On Sunday, I woke up with full intentions of cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. And I s-l-o-w-l-y did just that. Until Mom called to invite me to go mini-golfing with her and "the kids" (Ari and Andreas). So, I stopped what I was doing and spent most of the afternoon with mom, dad, AJ and the kids. We ate lunch, played on the swings, went mini-golfing, and then I went home for my bike so we could go on a bike ride. When I got back with my bike, dad informed me that mom and the kids had gone on a walk/bike ride up to the church. So I took off to join them. At the top of the hill, I notice mom's picked up another dog. A cute little bulldog! Mom took the dogs home, while me and the kids took a good long bike ride around the neighborhood. It was a lot of fun, but I was exhausted by the time we got back! I helped mom post a lost & found ad for the dog, but here it is Tuesday, and my brother is absolutely in love with her, and there have been 0 calls, so miss Penny might have a new sister!

Monday was Labor day, so I had the day off. I spent it doing what I had planned for Sunday: cleaning, cleaning, cleaning! I am on a good roll with my laundry, just hope I can keep it up through the week and be totally caught up before Royce gets home! But when he gets home, he has got some major weeding-out to do with his clothes!! It feels nice getting so much done, from laundry to vacuuming to mopping! And I could do most of it in front of the TV, so I rented a couple of chick flicks and just made a day of it.

And, in case you noticed with my last post... all weekend, I just kept thinking about being a mommy. With all my cleaning and laundry-catch up, I want to overhaul my messy playroom and turn it into a nursery. I know exactly what I want to do with it... problem is, if things don't go the way they're supposed to, I'd hate to have to look at that every day and have that reminder that I'm still not a mommy! :( It's all I want. It's all I think about.

I want to be a mom.

That's all. I just want to be a mom. And I want Royce to be a dad. More than anything.